Saturday, May 9, 2009

blog

blog....i blog to blog..like duh uh...its a on9 journal..where ppl read..unless i put it private.
i dont get it..when ppl said..its too much drama..and ask me to get a life..i think dat person should get a life..where if dat person don like this blog..so..leave..and dont comment and askin ppl to get a life..WTF. so what i'm self centered..is that 'ur' problem? does my self centered concern 'u' or affects 'u'. I'm upset and pissed easily..and emo. SO WHAT? that's my life.

I emo on tiny bitsy stuff. I'm sensitive and pissed on stuff easily. Emo ppl like me..cant get along with another emo ppl as partner..really can die. over sensitive..and emo..oh no..im still working on it.

sometimes..i feel i'm invinsible. as if i don't exist before. not i don't exist at all. I'm still a human after all. I have feelings. the history still there. nothing can erase the history..unless I lost memory of it..which I really wish I did but I'm not. So..I am selfish. I admit. I don't care. It hurts me when I feel i don't exist before.

I can forgive but I can't forget. I'm a vengeful person. Ok. I can forgive after somtimes..but I still remembers it..of what had happened. I mean this general meaning..not specific incident that had happened. Certain things ...mostly negative things..I can remember easily..but not positive.

I'm just upset..and letting this out. and this is my blog. I want to talk bout what is my own blog.

I'm sad of what had happened.

I felt bad for my parents..who worked so bloody hard for raising us, my brother and I, and keeping this house alive, home.

I'm even upset that I'm like not existed in this world. I'm always the last to know bout things. Not to say I'm not a busybody. I admit I am..but when it concerns bout my class, my schedule, my course, infos, my friends, things around..I don't know til last minute..ok..almost last minute.
I'm upset, I have a circle of friends, which I consider close..but all of them are closer to each other instead of me and few other ppl. sometimes I felt i don't belong in that circle...not only that circle..but few other circles. that's when I feel I wanna get out from here. I don;t belong anywhere. Ok..YES..I should do somthing bout it..like what? be more busybody?

I don't knwo what is happening..I don't understand why that happened.

WHAT is fooking wrong with me??


Where are you when I needed you?
Where are you when I needed someone to talk, to consult, to comfort?
Why am I still like that?

どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう???

I'm just letting off my feelings..and I felt bit better.