'sendiri cari pasal'

1st of all.
i donnno where to start. too many things

intern-i've started my intern in Axis on the 12th. It's a great company. I'm very grateful to be internin in that company. My supervisor, seniors, colleagues, all the big shots, are good, patient.
my first day was great. my senior designer told and taught me bout the company's standard requirement in cad, whats the process, whats going on, who and who doin what and what (not all). I have a secondary schoolmate works in the same place too. Had a meeting with my department, with the big boss, er, 2nd one.1st day.gosh. i've learn a lot of things, but i donno whats in my head, i couldn't remember stuff. not all. i hate it.

its a great company to learn. the people actually willing to teach every thing, not being too selfish, or just throw the work and do it ourselves. this company practises teamwork. we learn with each other. i'm just grateful its like that. I asked a lot of questions. stupid and repeated questions. now i understand why my colleagues and seniors are like..don't eally like me. its just the uneasy feelings i had in the office.


SKIP


good and bad stuff happened. just what i feel and what i thought.


then..today, no yesterday, i got my result. i failed one subject. its repeat. damn it. damn me. that is why. tak buat kerja, tak hantar. now fail. bagus.
fookinly regret. but whats the point. now too late.
i did one, didnt hand up. no time. almost everyday OT. balik also tak sempat lar..nvm
i don blame anyone.i blame myself. what my dad said, what my family said is true.

Karma is happening. what i wanted, not all is comin, but what i fear to happen, it happens. just touch wood, not the crime.

its not my 1st time. but its my 1st time where i feel i can do it, but i don't. wait, no..not 1st time. 1st time was form 6. i could do better.

what is fookin wrong lar..

I've disappoint everyone around me and myself too. feel so hopeless and useless.


hope i can do better

i will be better and the best

i will survive.

thanks to a friend, who give some motivation words...and few who tried to cheer me up.