so close yet so FAR

Just now, while I was writing the previous post, my high school friend, Matthias msged me on MSN.

He, was telling me that HE, was working backstage at SUPER JUNIOR'S concert last night. They needed people and HE, did thought of me and wanna to asked me, BUT, he didn't have my phone number BUT, I had his phone number.

WTF ryt.

Seriously when I heard this, I was excited, anxious and angry at the same time.

I told him, why didn't tell me earlier, can go online give me offline message or FB or anything, but no. ARGH. I was keep on ARGH and OMG all the time at him. I was kinda furious and was crying in my heart. Tears almost out.

I was really really angry!! I was so close to it, but couldn't get it.

He is one lucky guy got to work with them.

He was telling me lots of related stuff, and most of it was my plan. I was angry because he got it and I don't! He told me lots of stuff, as if he was bragging bout it. He's into Kpop and wanted to go to Korea as badly as I am. He almost gave me a heart attack. He told me cause he was busy and couldn't get a computer and he worked til quite late. So that's why.

Seriously, I really wanna go.

I'm now pretty disappointed and frustrated. I don't know what else to say to him. Speechless.

I was thinkin, if he sincerely wanna ask me to joined, where he had me on his mind to join, he could go on9 after his work and at least tell me. But, I think it's pretty late when he got home and tired, so I couldn't really blame him.

When I was calmed down, and wished him good luck. If he got it, maybe he'll help me.

So right now, I have to help myself and fight for it.

I will go to South Korea Embassy and en-quire bout everything I want. Maybe tomorrow. I'll go. Nevertheless, soon.

I was losing faith in my own luck. People around, not close to me got the luck I wanted. Always happens.

oh ya, I was planning to tryout for MAS cabin crew on saturday, but I didn't go because I don't think I'm fit in the requirements. Looks, Heights and the HAIR! My BB, Ivy went in JEANS! and she passed the 1st level, where there're 6 levels. JEANS were not allowed but she passed because they love her confidence. Ivy told me that I should go and try coz she saw lots of girls who are SHORTER than I AM! I was like WHAT? but I was TOO LATE! I still don't have the confidence, but she asked me just "be YOURSELF"............... I had a doubt on that too.

Luck is not there.

Next time then. Next recruitment. Since I still got 6 more years to tryout or at least when I look at least better than now. Either I cut my hair or leave it a lil longer.

See, everything was SO CLOSE YET SO FAR!

*I'm a bit lazy in the middle to highlight the 'important' parts*